I'm stealing this idea from a stranger's blog that I read. She writes a letter to her daughter every month and I think it is such a great idea. Hopefully I'll be somewhat successful and actually carry this idea out. And hopefully my other children won't hate me if I don't have time to do this for them.
Welcome to the world little man. This last month has been both the hardest and best month of my life. You are a remarkably easy baby, but this is still hard work. Possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding.
The day you arrived was a bit of a blur. I remember when they plopped your slimy, squirmy body on my chest I was just in shock that you were finally here and that I pushed you out of my body and this goopy baby kicking and screaming was the same creature that had kicked and flipped around my belly for the last nine months. You looked HUGE to me and it seemed impossible that you really could have been inside me. I wanted to cry, but I think I was just too overwhelmed with emotions and just too tired. Then, when you were about a week and half old, and had finally gained back the weight you lost your first week, I was holding you up in just a diaper and you were squirming around. You looked so much like you did in your first moment of life and all the tears that I wished I had shed when you were born came rushing out. Even now as I write this and think about those first few moments we had as a new little family, I'm fighting back the lump in my throat.
I love the smell of your little head and seriously think they should bottle that smell. It would fly off the shelves. I can't get enough of it. Even when I'm exhausted and you just won't go to sleep, there's nothing quite like feeling your fuzzy little head on my cheek and taking as much of that amazing smell in as I can. There are several times through out each day when I am holding you and I just am overcome with love for you that I just need to squeeze you and kiss your little cheeks or your chubby little neck.
One of my favorite things is the smiles you make when you're sleeping. Almost every time you fall asleep a huge smile creeps across your face in the moment when you finally close your eyes. It is like your body is just so happy to finally give in to the sleep. Over the last several days you've started smiling for real sometimes just for me. It is the best thing in the world and melts me heart each precious time it happens. I fall in love with you a little more every time your eyes light up and that huge, adorable smile creeps out.
You are freakishly strong. Seriously. You've been able to hold your head up since we were in the hospital and have just been getting stronger and stronger as the weeks go by. Your arms are so strong that when I have to forcibly move them to get the out of the way for you to nurse, it really takes some effort to work against your strength. And you love standing up on our laps. You can be starving and beyond tired, but if we let you stand up, you are happy as can be.
Last week, your dad blessed and named you at church. It was a beautiful blessing and you looked so adorable in the outfit that your dad was blessed in. You were blessed to be strong, sober and wise. Much of your blessing focused on being compassionate and helping those in need. That is something that I hope your dad and I are able to instill in you more than anything else.
Your dad and I love you more than anything and you win the hearts of everyone who meets you. I may be a little biased, but you really are a beautiful baby and even though you're still pretty much still just a lump of baby, you'll already a little charmer.
Soren, thanks for coming into our life. I can't imgaine it without you.