Sunday, January 1, 2012

"The year is dying in the night, ring out wild bells, and let him die"

Today I was wondering if I'd set any resolutions at the beginning of 2011, and apparently I did in my head but didn't feel the need to write them down.  Of the couple I alluded to in my blog post last year, I suppose I completed since I did take vitamins (it didn't say I had to take them every day...) and Soren has long since been totally potty trained. But I think since this year was unexpectedly rocky, it is hard to feel like any goals I may have set were accomplished. 

It's no secret that 2011 was pretty rough. We are quickly approaching the 1 year anniversary of our current round of job-lessness which is really hard to wrap my head around. As 2010 came to a close we were full of hope and anticipation for the year ahead thinking things were finally getting better. I thought we'd happy cruise through the year- maybe take a trip or two to help us recover from a hard year and probably have a baby. Then obviously that all got put on hold. We've struggled and cried a lot this year. Tears of sadness for those that we love and tears of frustration that life isn't what we thought it would be. But despite all that, there were a lot of really great things that happened this year. 

Though it ended up it not really being as enjoyable as I anticipated, I will be proud to remember that I wrote for Apartment Therapy this year. (One of my posts was even the 6th most popular post of 2011, which is pretty cool.) A couple of our very best friends will be blessed with more babies that we can count, and a some of them even managed to defy all medical odds. We fostered an adorably sweet cat (with the equally adorable Soren-given name of ABCDEFG) for a few weeks, which surely earned us some major karma. Soren and I spent a couple weeks in Mississippi soaking up some sun and taking care of my sick mom. Again, more karma, right? I trained for and completed an actual running race which felt like a major accomplishment. Soren completed his first semester of Joy School with great success. He LOVES it and I love all his friends and the other mothers who love and teach these 5 little students along with me. 

So, despite the obvious set backs, 2011 hasn't been all bad. We've been able to spend a lot of time together. We've been able to reevaluate what is and isn't important and essential in our life. Brita filters, real maple syrup, pine nuts, a rug in our living room, hair cuts = things I've learned to live with out. Friends and family who love and support us, living somewhere we love and feeling like we're part of a community, having the internet in my pocket, buying fancy mascara every so often = things that are key to my survival. 

Now we face another year and I have a lot of hopes for 2012. Hope that we can move on from this hard year. Hope that we can finally feel secure and happy. Hope that we can find a job that keeps us in our home and this city that we'd be heartbroken to leave. Hope that we can add another person to this home some day soon. Hope that our dear friends will find peace. Hope that when we look back on 2011 we'll think about the wonderful things that did happen, despite the suffocatingly hard year that it was. Bring it, 2012. I'm ready. 


Lisa H. said...

beautiful post, kate. i sincerely hope 2012 is the year of the wangsgards. we love you guys.

Terese said...

Well put, Kate! This is going to be a good year I just know it!

Deja said...

what a beautiful, hopeful post. i do hope it's a great year for you.

Rachel. said...

I loved this post too, and sincerely hope 2012 is happier and more filled with hope and security for your family, as well as others. And am equally happy for at least one set of our shared friends who will soon be blessed with babies (!).